The Wicked Truth
by TheRavenclawGem
Summary: AU Tag to "The Wicked Day"- What if when Merlin was healing Uther, the aging spell slipped away? 'Arthur opened his mouth and my heart stopped as he whispered the one word I was dreading. "Merlin?"' NO SLASH *ON HIATUS, RETURNING SOON*
1. Chapter 1

The Wicked Truth

 **AN: Hello there! This is my first ever fic so apologies for any stuff ups. This idea has been floating around in my head for a long time, so here it is! I watched this scene over and over at the same time as writing this, and all the spelling of the spells are what the subtitles said, so I'm just trusting my TV right now spelling-wise. Most of this fic is taken almost directly from the show, I just added Merlin's thoughts and of course the twist. See you at the bottom. Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: Don't own it. Wouldn't be writing fanfiction if I did.**

Chapter 1:

"Wait." Said Arthur.

I looked up from the smoking greenery, confused. _Oh god I hope he hasn't changed his mind._ "Is something wrong?"

Arthur's eyes flickered to Uther's face, obviously conflicted. "My father's taught me never to trust magic. Now I'm using it to save him."

My mind began to panic as Arthur's confidence wavered.

 _Tell him._

 _He'll kill me._

 _Tell him!_

 _ **I can't!**_

Obeying both halves of my mind simultaneously, I decided to tell him the truth. Just…not all of it. Yet.

"Your own life has been saved using magic, more times than you can possibly imagine." I answered, perhaps too quickly. Arthur's head shot up, suspicion entering his gaze.

"What on earth are you talking about?" He asked, confused.

 _Idiot!_ I scolded myself. _Quick, make something up!_

"I merely mean to say that magic is all around you," I corrected myself, mentally wiping my brow, "It is woven into the very fabric of the world."

Arthur's suspicion abated, but the hesitancy remained. "How can I be sure it's the right thing to do?"

My gaze softened as I took in the sight of this young man who had loved and lost so much. Kilgharrah's voice entered my mind, those words he had first said so long ago. _Two sides of the same coin…._

I turned my attention back to Arthur. "I know you have suffered because of magic….as many have." Morgana's face, scared and accusing. Freya's, peaceful and lifeless. "But not all magic and not all sorcerers are the same." I risked a quick grin at the word _sorcerers._ "I wish only to show you that magic can be used for good. I hope that one day you will see me in a different light." I wished he could see the truth behind those words.

I waited with bated breath as he gazed upon his father's face. I willed him to see that this was the right path. He eventually raised his head, stepping back and gesturing for me to do my work.

I mentally breathed a sigh of relief, but nerves began twisting my gut like a snake. I drew myself up and raised the herbs. I had never been so nervous in my life. It suddenly stuck me that the fate of the kingdom was balanced on my shoulders, and one wrong move could undo all I had done.

"Efencume…" I began. It felt strange, doing magic in front of Arthur. He watched, tenser than I had ever seen him. I began wafting the smoke over Uther's form. Focusing all my attention on the spell, I didn't notice as my grip on the aging enchantment began to slip. "Aetgaedre, eala gastas…" Pouring my energy into the spell, I remained oblivious as my aches subsided, beard and hair retreated into my head and skin grew smooth once more. Not even the slight change in my voice was noticed as I concentrated on the most important enchantment of my life. "Craeftigegestricie pis lic forod." As I feel the familiar release of energy, the trepidation returned with a vengeance.

Finally drawing breath, I rose my gaze to meet Arthur's. I stifled a snort as I took note of his expression. I expected him to look a bit shocked, I had just performed the most illegal practice in the land in front of him, but come on! I was a bit concerned though. Why wasn't he checking to see if Uther was alive? He just stood there staring at me. Suddenly, I noticed the absence of a beard on my face and my blood ran cold. The snake in my gut tightened as I began panicking. Arthur opened his mouth and my heart stopped as he whispered the one word I was dreading.

"Merlin?"

 **AN: Hello again! What did you think? Let me know! Also, I have a second chapter being written if you so desire it, but it's up to you to tell me! Lastly, if you do want chapter 2, tell me; should Uther live or die? Thanks guys!**

 _ **~TheRavenclawGem**_


	2. Chapter 2

The Wicked Truth

 **A/N: Hello again! *dodges flying fruit* I know, I know, I'm sorry! I was planning on updating before now, but OzComicCon is this weekend and my fellow cosplayers will know the struggle of getting everything ready in time. All finished now, and OzCC is the first day of the holidays, so I should be updating more regularly now (famous last words). Well, it's here now so enjoy. See you at the bottom!**

 **Disclaimer: Don't own it. Wouldn't be writing fanfiction if I did.**

Chapter 2:

 _Previously- Suddenly, I noticed the absence of a beard on my face and my blood ran cold. The snake in my gut tightened as I began panicking. Arthur opened his mouth and my heart stopped as he whispered the one word I was dreading._

" _Merlin?"_

I started hyperventilating as the shock and confusion on Arthur's face transformed into anger, betrayal and perhaps….a flicker of hurt? Arthur rested his hand on the hilt of his sword, and for a terrifying second I thought he was going to run me through right there and then. In fact, if not for the huge gasp Uther took at that second, I wouldn't've been surprised if he had.

"Father?" Arthur rushed to Uther, my lies forgotten.

For now.

Uther, evidently still disoriented from his brush with death, blinked dazedly at the bed canopy.

"Father?" Uther blinked slowly and turned his gaze to Arthur.

"Arthur?" He asked, smiling weakly.

Arthur began laughing, his disbelief and relief evident. Uther smiled, almost confused, at his son, head raised slightly off the pillow. I couldn't believe it. It worked! _It worked!_ I wouldn't have to hide anymore! Not that I really could anymore, but at least I wouldn't be burned at the stake.

Suddenly Uther groaned and Arthur's face fell, panic replacing the former shocked joy.

"What's happening?" He asked me as Uther's breathing grew shallow.

Shocked out of my daydreams of a life of freedom, I started to panic. "I don't know."

My eyes began frantically searching the room for something that could've caused the sudden change in Uther's recovery. _Oh god no no no not now please no I'm so close god no._

Arthur grew more desperate by the second. "Do something!"

My eyes landed on a glimmer of silver on Uther's chest. I pushed Arthur aside and ripped a medallion from its chain. The second I touched it it was apparent that it was full of dark magic. It felt _wrong_. I wanted to burn it, drop it into the deepest pit on the earth and run as far as possible and never look back. I settled for throwing it across the room as Uther grew weaker and finally stilled, his last breath passing his lips and dissipating into the air.

He was dead.

 _No._

 _No!_

 _NO!_

I fell to my knees at the dead king's bedside, despair clawing its way up my throat in the form of a sob. _Arthur knows. He knows and his father is dead because I wasn't quick enough. Stupid stupid STUPID! I should've listened to Gaius. He knows he knows oh god he knows!_

Arthur grasped frenziedly at his father's wrist, feeling for a pulse. Finding none, he dropped the arm and turned his sorrow-filled gaze to me. The sorrow was quickly replaced by anger and he drew his sword, advancing on me.

"You killed him. YOU KILLED HIM!" Arthur yelled, "I'LL KILL YOU!"

I watched from where I kneeled as he raised his sword, bracing myself for the fatal blow. I didn't try to stop him. Was there any point? He knew that I'd lied, and now magic would never be free. Hell, even if I stopped him I'd probably be executed by the end of tomorrow. I closed my eyes, tears leaking and silently sliding down my face. What was taking him so long?

I risked a glance from beneath my lashes, and what I saw made my heart stop.

The tip of Arthur's sword was suspended mere inches from my chest, quivering slightly. I slowly raised my gaze to Arthur's face, and was shocked and more than a little confused to see him staring at me, still obviously enraged, but for some reason hesitant to kill me.

Sword still hovering just above my heart, Arthur looked down on me with all the authority of a king, and for a second he looked just like Uther.

"Get out."

Barely believing that I was still alive, I stood slowly and fled, blood rushing in my ears. I burst into the hallway, startling a passing maidservant.

"Merlin? Are you okay?" She called after me. I didn't reply; it didn't seem important at the moment. All that mattered was that Arthur knew and I wasn't dead yet. Reaching Gaius & I's shared chambers, I flung open the door, making Gaius jump and almost drop the vial of violet liquid he was holding.

"Merlin? What happened?" He asked, setting down the vial and walking towards me as fast as his limp allowed. I leant against the door, tears still streaming down my face. Gaius enveloped me in a hug and I clung to him like a leech to the inside of that damn tank.

"My boy. Surely it can't be that bad?" I laughed at that. _Oh yes it could._

"Uther's dead, Gaius. Uther's dead and Arthur knows and he told me to get out so I did and oh god he knows. He wasn't meant to find out like this. This wasn't meant to happen."

 **A/N: This chapter gave me a little trouble, but I like how it turned out! Adequate? Let me know. Every single review is greatly appreciated! To all the guest reviewers, please get an account! I want to be able to talk to you! XD anyway guys, leave any suggestions in the reviews. Have a nice morning/day/evening/night, see you next chapter!**

 **~TheRavenclawGem**

 **P.S. I know the name at the bottom of the last chapter was wrong, and I am attempting to fix it! First story, accidently signed off with my tumblr name, I'm doing my best here. Bye!**


	3. Chapter 3

The Wicked Truth

 **A/N: I KNOW! I KNOW! I'M SORRY! *dodges more fruit* I've been ultra-busy lately, but OzCC is done for another year and holidays have begun, so I promise to try and write more! I've kind of been brainstorming random ideas for this chapter in my head, but this is the first time I've really written for a while. This story has no set plot, I'm literally posting as I write here. Well, see you at the bottom I suppose!**

 **Disclaimer: Don't own it. Wouldn't be writing fanfiction if I did.**

Chapter 3:

 _Previously- "My boy. Surely it can't be that bad?" I laughed at that. Oh yes it could._

" _Uther's dead, Gaius. Uther's dead and Arthur knows and he told me to get out so I did and oh god he knows. He wasn't meant to find out like this. This wasn't meant to happen."_

Arthur's POV

I watched as Merlin ran from my father's chambers, the anger of a few seconds ago replaced by numb confusion. He was going to let me kill him. Why would he do that? He could've killed me right there and then, he could've stopped me, so why did he just sit there and wait for the sword to fall? I didn't know what to believe anymore. _Mer_ lin, a sorcerer? Merlin was _Dragoon?_ I stood there, the tip of my sword slowly scraping the stone floor. It just didn't make any sense. Magic was evil, but Merlin wasn't. Merlin was everything evil isn't. Magic was _evil_ …. Wasn't it? I slowly turned back to face my father's body, tears welling up in my eyes as I called for the guards. I'd deal with Merlin later…. Now was the time to grieve.

Merlin's POV

Gaius didn't try and get anything more out of me as I sobbed into his shoulder. Once I finally stopped crying, I pulled back and wiped my nose. I made a face at the trail of slime on my sleeve, then it hit me that I was still wearing my Dragoon robe. I ripped it off and walked over to the table, dropping it and sitting down, starting listlessly at the well-worn wood. Gaius seated himself opposite me, patiently waiting as I began my story.

* * *

"And then I looked up and Gaius, his _face_. And it looked like it was going to work, but I found a pendant filled with dark magic around Uther's neck but it was too late. Then I thought Arthur was going to kill me but he told me to get out and here I am. I don't know what to do Gaius. You were right, I shouldn't've tried to heal him."

Gaius sighed and reached out to clasp my hands in his own. "My boy. You did what was right. You tried to save the life of a man who would have you killed for doing so, and I am so proud of you." He shook his head slowly, like a bull trying to rid itself of a bothersome fly. "You mustn't blame yourself for this, do you hear me? This is Morgana's doing."

I laughed mirthlessly. "Arthur won't see it like that. All he knows is that his father is dead and I have lied to him for years."

Gaius sighed. "Well, all that can be done now is wait. How about I get you some dinner?"

I smiled at my surrogate father. "I think I might skip dinner tonight."

"Nonsense." Gaius busied himself over our small fire, chopping something that smelt suspiciously like rat.

* * *

Later that night, I was lying in my small bed, absent-mindedly staring at a patch of celling directly above my head. I must've been studying that section for hours, memorising every nick in the ancient stone. _I wonder what Arthur is doing right now?_ I thought to myself. _I wonder what he'll do to_ me _?_ I suddenly remembered a tradition Gaius had mentioned once, in a conversation long forgotten. Not knowing if I was about to make things better or worse, I carefully got up and dressed myself. Easing my familiar wooden door open, I silently made my way through the main area of the physician's chambers. I smirked slightly as I heard a very distinct snore. Gaius always insisted he didn't snore. Typically, I managed to bump into the corner of Gaius' worktable. The extensive collection of various bottles tinkled, and one fell, but I managed to catch it with my magic just before it hit the floor. Gaius' snoring stopped, and I held my breath as he grumbled in his sleep (something about clumsy knights). I released the breath as the snoring resumed, and quietly exited the chambers. I managed to make my way to the throne room without being stopped. The ancient oak doors were closed, as I expected, so I sat myself down at the bottom of the staircase and waited to see what tomorrow would bring.

 **A/N: Hi! I'm so sorry, I know it's been ages! I had major writers block, and then my Surface (which I was writing on) kept stuffing up but now I have an actual laptop! :D I PROMISE to try and write more now. I love doing it (and reading all your reviews). I know this wasn't exactly a thrilling chapter, but I felt like it was necessary. Hopefully things should pick up a bit soon! If anyone has suggestions I would love to hear them! I'll try and post soon, love you all. Byeeee!**

 **~TheRavenclawGem**


	4. Chapter 4

The Wicked Truth

 **A/N: Hey guys! I feel guilty about uploading the last chapter so late, so have another one! Forgot to say before, what did you guys think of Arthur's POV? First time writing him and all that. Fair reaction? Let me know! Reviews make my day! See you at the bottom :)**

Chapter 4:

 _Previously- I managed to make my way to the throne room without being stopped. The ancient oak doors were closed, as I expected, so I sat myself down at the bottom of the staircase and waited to see what tomorrow would bring._

Several hours later, I was watching the morning shadows dance across the back of my hand when I heard the throne room doors swing open. I dropped my hand and slowly turned my head towards the doorway. It'd been a long night.

Arthur was standing in the doorway, the morning sun shining over his shoulder. I stood slowly, his eyes following me the whole way. He examined me and I shrunk under his scrutinising gaze. I suddenly understood how it felt to be a deer when Arthur decided to go on one of Camelot's infamous hunting parties.

"Were you here all night?" I was surprised that he hadn't just kept walking. Or called the guards.

"I didn't want you to feel that you were alone." Arthur seemed surprised at that, but he quickly shook it off and started up the staircase. I hung my head, defeated, until I heard Arthur's voice drift back to me.

"Get us both some breakfast and bring it to my chambers."

My head snapped up as a flicker of hope rekindled itself in my chest. I called back, "Yes, sire!" and ran to the kitchens. Mary, the cook, must've noticed the fatigue in my face as she gave me an extra roll to eat as I took Arthur's breakfast up. I shot her a grateful smile and thank you as I left and, for better or for worse, made my way up to Arthur's chambers.

* * *

When I reached the familiar doors, I knocked as best I could while holding two plates. After hearing Arthur's brisk "Enter", I pushed the door open and placed the prince's breakfast in front of him. He gestured to the chair at the other end of the table, so I sat down, guilt and fear churning my bread roll in my gut. I tried to eat but I felt I wouldn't be able to keep anything down, so I settled for watching Arthur. I'd never noticed how regally he ate before. Once he finished, he spared a glance in my direction.

"Not eating?" He seemed aloof, but I thought I could detect a hint of concern.

"Not hungry." I paused. "What are you going to do to me?"

Arthur pushed his plate away and sat back in the carved wooden chair I had spent so many hours polishing. "I believe I'll be the one asking questions here."

I shrank in my chair. "Yes sire."

Silence fell as Arthur considered me. It felt as if he could see right through me, every memory of us being rewritten. The shadows grew shorter and it felt like an age before he spoke again.

"How long?" I was jolted out of my thoughts by Arthur's sudden break of the silence.

"What?"

He stood up and started pacing, "How long have you been betraying the trust of your friends? How long have you been LYING to me? HOW LONG have you been studying _magic?_ " He spat the last word like it was poison in his mouth. He braced himself on the back of his chair, eyes burning my skin like the flames of the pyre I was so sure I would face.

Suddenly, I felt an unexpected rush of anger. Betraying? _BETRAYING?_ I clenched my fists and glared at Arthur. He seemed taken aback at my sudden change in demeanour. I stood quickly and looked Arthur in the eye. "If having magic is _betraying_ you, sire, then I've been betraying you since I was born. If protecting your ungrateful arse from every single threat, magical or non-magical, that's come along since we've known each other is betraying you, then I've been betraying you since I first set foot in Camelot. If BETRAYING you is hiding who I am so that your father who, I might add, I just tried to SAVE, wouldn't kill me then I've been betraying you ever since I was old enough to understand that people like me are considered _monsters._ I've been kicked, hit, poisoned, stung, beaten, burnt, knocked out, cut and almost died more times than I can count, all to protect you, Gwen, Gaius and the knights and all you can say is that I've BETRAYED you? My only friend in my whole village DIED saving you and all you could say at his funeral was that _I should've told you that he had magic._ You know what? HE DIDN'T! I DO! AND IF YOU THINK THAT I'VE PUT UP WITH YOUR PRATISHNESS FOR ALL THESE YEARS JUST SO THAT YOU COULD FIND OUT WHO I AM AND THINK I'VE _BETRAYED_ YOU, THEN YOU'RE THICKER THAN I THOUGHT! So, _sire_ , if you really think that I've betrayed you, go ahead. Kill me now. Because if you can't stand the thought of me having magic, then I have nothing to live for anymore."

By this point, I was standing about a foot from Arthur, arms flung wide, waiting for him to run me through. I could feel the anger and frustration leaking out of my body, only to be replaced with a numbness I hadn't really experienced before. Arthur looked shocked after my outburst. I looked him right in the eye again, trying to channel all my pain into that one stare. "Kill me. Go on. KILL ME!"

Arthur backed away, stumbling over his own feet. I was hit by a wave of exhaustion, and dropped to my knees. I hung my head and whispered, "Go ahead. I won't stop you, sire. I'd rather be killed here, now, by you, than by the pyre."

"Merlin, I'm not going to kill you." Arthur said. I heard his boots on the stone floor, and felt as he pulled me to my feet, more gently than I thought possible for him. I didn't realise I was crying until I tasted a tear on the corner of my mouth. I looked at Arthur, and wasn't surprised when he stepped quickly back, putting some distance between us. I was, however, surprised to see the concern and confusion occupying Arthur's features. He turned and paced as he only did when trying to make a tough decision. I sniffled and wiped my nose on my sleeve, trying to compose myself. After all the crying I had done in the last 24 hours, I was surprised that I still had tears to give.

Arthur eventually turned face me, and I diverted all my back to him.

"Merlin, I don't yet know what I'm going to do with you, but know that I have no intentions of executing you. Take your breakfast and go back to your chambers. I will send for you when I have reached a decision. Until then, you will resume your duties as my manservant. Nothing more. You may have the rest of the day off."

I breathed an internal sigh of relief and quietly collected my breakfast and started towards the door. As I reached for the door, Arthur called back to me. "Merlin?"

I froze, terrified he'd changed his mind, and turned to face him again. "Yes Sire?"

He opened the drawer of his desk and lifted out the pendant I had found around Uther's neck by the string. "What is this?" Even from that distance, I could feel the evil radiating from it. Arthur must've noticed my discomfort, as he placed it back in the drawer. "Never mind, you are dismissed." He said. I opened the doors of the prince's chambers, stopping for a moment to call back.

"Arthur?"

"Yes Merlin?"  
"Thank you."

 **A/N: WELL! That turned out differently than I expected XD. That was longer than expected too. Let me know, was Merlin too OOC during his rant? I know he wouldn't usually say things like that, but I felt he deserved to say it. Also, it was a bit of an emotional rollercoaster! Also, when you look at the episode, Arthur was genuinely ready to accept magic if it had worked, so that's why I made him a bit nicer here. I don't know, first fic and all. I'm feeling my way. Let me know what you think! Until next time!  
** **EDIT: I'm sorry it's been so long, but school just started back and I really didn't like the end of this chapter, so I've re-written it. I'd set it up to end too early and easily. I've decided, instead of uploading chapters as soon as I write them, I'm not going to upload until I have at least 2 more chapters written. It may be a while until I upload again, but I'll do my best! Might just do some little random stories here and there, just for a break. Alrighty, bye!**

 **~TheRavenclawGem**


	5. You deserve an explanation (and apology)

Hey guys! It's been a while.

Sorry I haven't uploaded, I've just been busy with Christmas and everything, but I've also lost a bit of motivation to write this story. I love it, and I'm happy with how it was going, but I'm just not sure _where_ it was going. Also, I'm kind of regretting my decision to write it in first person as I'm honestly just not feeling it. Therefore, I have an announcement.

I'm going to drop this story for a while. *pause for tears* *silence* Okay then. As I said, I'm really not feeling the first person. Most of the time, I feel like I can't write any other way, but it's just not working for me wright now (I know that was a terrible pun please don't kill me). It's also been months since I have written in general. Therefore, I am considering re-writing The Wicked Truth… _in third person_ *gasps* I know I know, didn't see that one coming amiright. I feel like it's for the best, and I may resume writing it in first person at some point, but right now third person is what feels right. I really just need to get back into the swing of writing, so I may post some little ficlets and one-shots here and there from various fandoms (TBH most of my currently listed fanfic ideas are Harry Potter, so brace yourselves for an influx). No promises though.

I just felt like I needed to give you guys a little bit of an update. The guilt of leaving the story hanging was clawing away at me. Thank you so much for all of the reviews, they keep my going when I want to stop writing and just hide away all my ideas. I promise, I'm going to try to get into some kind of writing schedule and I'll try and upload soon!

Sincerely,

~TheRavenclawGem

P.S. THERE WILL BE AN EXPLANATION AS TO WHY MERLIN COULDN'T FEEL THE EVIL MAGIC RADIATING OFF THE AMULET WHEN HE WAS HEALING UTHER IN THE FIRST PLACE! Thank you to Fai's smile for pointing out that I didn't really say. All will be explained later in the story. Love you all, bye!


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